drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
