Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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