I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
