he shaved USA in his pubs
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
