apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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