Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Dick very happy bro
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
