I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
