wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
