If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Shame - the story of my life.
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