thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
