Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
