I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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