he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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