is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
