i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
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