The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
