No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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