i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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