Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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