How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Just high enough for therapy.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
