This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
