dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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