hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
