dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
