:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
