Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
