I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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