Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
True college students do jello shots in the library
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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