I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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