i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
