this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
