I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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