Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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