I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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