She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
