It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
