The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
