He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
