ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
