the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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