Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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