just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
