that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
