oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I think i got beer on your cat.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
