let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
