my phone needs a breathalizer
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
