Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
