Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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