I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
