Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
