I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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