At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
